Thursday, October 7, 2010

Religion and Politics

So here we are day 2 of my blog and I am already getting into a topic that makes most people cringe or at least causes some definite controversy amongst friends and family members. I think that there is a fine line between church and state and when the church gets involved in what others want to do I feel like that is not supporting the God given right of free agency. I guess if you want to say that you will not allow gays into your church that is one thing but when people come out and protest something like gay marriage it really makes me stop and think. This country was founded on religious freedom yet there have been many persecutions after the fact. Religious freedom almost didn't happen for one religion. That same religion talks about free agency and the ability for people to choose what they want. Obviously you would like to see every person conform to your ideas and join your religion but in reality other people have different views just because they don't agree with your values, morals, or belief system they should still be protected under the same constitution that gave you the ability to worship how you want. I guess another right we have is freedom of assembly so it is alright to say that Gay marriage is wrong everyone is entitled to their own opinion but in reality why make choices for other people? Wasn't that Satan's plan he wanted to make sure that everyone got back to heaven and he wanted all the glory to go to him. How does it benefit or hurt the church if gay people want to get married that is the main question. Maybe I am going to hell for my opinion on this but it is how I feel right now.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

When Everything Crashes Down Who Will Be There?

So Here I am 27 years old and I wonder this question all the time When you fall down and things don't turn out the way you plan who is there? Are your friends? Maybe a few and only to a certain level. If you are laying face down in a gutter with a needle in your arm who will come for you and bring you home? Would it be your girlfriend or boyfriend? Would your spouse see you through all the tough times? If so you have something really special and need to hang on to it! For most of us we don't like to think of that question, most of us don't see ourselves going that far down in the Dumps. However, drugs and alcohol affect millions of people each and every year people go to rehab and attend meetings they say the ones who really want to get sober will and the rest... Well the rest end up in Jails, Institutions, and Death. I have personally been through some rough experiences and thanks to a loving Mother, Father and sisters I am here today wasting time typing my thoughts from the comfort of a warm bedroom rather than a cold cement Jail cell. I have met some special people along the way. One thing about my family is that we don't always say how we feel often enough. I admit I have a hard time expressing my feelings for those who have picked me up when I have been down to those whose knees are bruised on my behalf from praying daily I thank you the Lord answers prayers! I may not be where I thought I would be at this stage in my life but there is one certainty I am alive I have been on the brink of Suicide and that seemed at the time the only logical answer. I still sit and wonder why I am here left  with the chaos that consumes my brain. But Today I can be grateful for that chaos. I am grateful to feel the emotional pain that once used to send me running full speed into the black abyss whether it was the bottom of a bottle or a hand full of pills anything was always a good idea not to feel. Now I am in a situation where I constantly need to learn patience, I am so used to getting that instant self gratifying experience that being patient is a real struggle fort me. I had a conversation with a good friend the other day and she said something that made me think. She said " you know Jared when things happen quickly and they seem to end just as fast." Wow now there is a real shocker! Am I really just learning this concept? I looked back at my life and I can definitely see spurts of excitement where I was sure I had all my problems solved whether it was from finding a new girl finding religion or even finding sobriety all of those things seem to have so much excitement and hope in the beginning but can tend to fade out just as quickly. Now my life consists of  being ok with being me. Learning that it is ok to sit still and enjoy the little moments in life. I am still finding out that this life is not a sprint but rather a Marathon. Oh how I hate it lol this is the reason I played football and wrestled in high school you have these quick bursts of speed and strength and then you get your payoff. A marathon. Wow that is a lot to take in did I mention I hate running long distances. I guess it is time to retrain my brain and learn to do somethings different. Maybe I will sit here as long as I need to until I figure out what I am supposed to learn then I can go on to the next step. Again to those in my life who have been there when I have been down thanks a million I still might make mistakes so keep praying :) all My love Jared